with your own penis?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
