Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
