I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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