So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
