it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
