I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
