Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
