i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
