How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
