dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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