Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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