no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
