will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
