no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
