Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
