I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
