can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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