I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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