Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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