y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize