Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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