Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
