My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
