I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
