i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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