member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
