Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
