If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
