I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
