living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Pants are for mortals
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
