that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
