so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
