shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my mouth tastes like poor choices
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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