he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
