I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize