i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
