just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
