everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
