tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
