yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
