I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
