If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
