Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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