it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
