Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
