I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
