i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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