I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
