Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize