I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize