she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
