She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
