$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
