I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
