In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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