So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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