I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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