Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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