I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
