After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
