so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
