i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
