I just cut my nipple shaving
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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