i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
