I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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