You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
